The first is M.o.M. standing for Maker of Memories. Mothers are the Maker of Memories. Often, they are the ones planning and scheduling and finding activities for the whole family. In other words, they create the memory opportunities and help determine what kind of memories those will be.
Just a few days ago, I obtained discount tickets to Lagoon - an amusement park nearby. I chose to take two of my children, Sarah and Hyrum. Soon after we arrived, however, I discovered that they both have very different tolerance levels for the rides. One water the fast, high rides. The other felt terrified of going very high.
As we watched my son ride his favorite ride, water splashing on him as he controlled the amount of height, my daughter lamented that we wouldn't be able to go on some of the rides she wanted to go on. I realized we had a choice to make.
I said, "We can choose to be upset for all the rides we can't go on with him. When the day is over, we will be grumpy and upset. We won't have any fun." She agreed this wasn't what we wanted.
I continued, "Or we can just be excited and have fun with him. He can watch us go on some rides without him and we can watch him go on other rides. Remember, he is one of your best friends and that you wanted to come together."
We agreed to just have a good time. We went on some of his rides, even though we didn't always want to, and in turn he either watch us without complaining or even braved a few rides he didn't initially want to go on. In the end, they found some rides they both liked equally and we had a great time. So much starts with the decision to make a good memory. That decision starts with Mom, the ultimate maker of memories.The second is m.O.m. which stands for me, Others, me. A few years ago, I wrote an article about this idea. The first little me is for private, personal time for mom in the morning. I read my scriptures and exercise. The second little me is for private, personal time in the afternoon or evening. I do an activity I enjoy as a creative outlet, such as my writing or piano practice. Both of these little me times are essential.
The O stands for Others. Motherhood is service-hood. Service to family, to neighbors, and most importantly to children. They are the Others in her life that are first priority. I love having the opportunity to serve them and nurture them and love them. Giving of myself to them, brings joy.
However, motherhood is not slave-hood. When I had baby #7 last spring, I transitioned into a zone of life I had never experienced previously. I became busy .... not I'm too busy to go shopping or too busy to hang out with friends ... I became ultimately busy at a high-pitched level. I stopped writing, I stopped playing the piano, I hardly had a moment to pick up a book. I have teenagers that still need me as a chauffeur, I have younger ones that need constant help with school assignments, and I have little ones that still just want to be held most of the time. Plus, I still had the budget and the dishes and the laundry and ... well, the list can go on. Meltdowns started happening frequently.
I began to ask myself what I was doing wrong. I always wanted a large family, so why wasn't I enjoying it more. Then I remembered. I had stopped giving myself the little "me" time. Life had become so busy that I didn't feel like I could give myself "me" time. Even now, there is a very long list of things I need to be doing. How could I break away?
Yet, I had to give myself so rejuvenation time. Just giving me those little moments, a short time in the morning and another in the afternoon, is the best prescription I could have received. After only a few days of allowing myself to "fill up" my creative energies, I began to feel happier and thus give more cheerfully. The meltdowns stopped happening. I could handle the driving, the crying, the needs, and the wants of others without feeling crushed. Life is still busy, but I can hold onto the reigns.
As I gave myself this time, I realized that I was also giving indirectly to my family. The children and my husband were affected daily by my attitudes and stress level. If I felt I could handle the demands with a smile, then they seemed to get through them as well. Mom sets the tone. The saying "If Mom ain't happy, nobody is" -- is true. Giving yourself "me moments" isn't selfish. Giving yourself "me moments" - short ones - is essential for a haven at home. When refreshed and rejuvenated, you can give more fully to those around you.
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